Targa Roofs Are My Life and I'm Not Sure I'm Human

"Nauraushaun" (nauraushaun12) 05/06/2018 at 20:39 • Filed to: None

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They’re all I live for. I’m not sure I know why. If I do it’s surely not reasonable.

Apology: in !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! I accidentally used the word “targa” to refer to “t-tops”. I do know the difference, I’m just dumb. I love both.

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There’s been a lot of posts about that wacky little guy on here lately. Someone is looking to buy one I think. I’m aware of these and we had some in Australia, but I could be more aware so I had a good read about them last night.

And I see them for what they are. They’re radical and rear engined and small, which are all things I love. But they’re also terrible. Smart was a stupid brand with a stupid name that never achieved any of its goals. The roadster is:

Ugly - just look at it from the front...

Overpriced - apparently almost as much as a bigger/faster/more practical/better built/more reliable MX-5

Poorly built - production was actually halted due to warranty costs per-vehicle being incredibly high

Impractical - the rear engine placement means shockingly small storage in both front and rear of the car

It also massively missed its projected sales. The thing sucks.

But. But look at it . Look at the rooflessness . Look at how it’s accentuated by the two-tone rollover bars. Who cares that !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ? If I buy a new top, hang it in my garage and never let it see sun maybe it’ll be fine. Maybe I can throw on some shades and go toss the thing through some roundabouts, see what that rear engine is all about.

Dammit what am I

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I always liked these. I wanted one when I was younger. I never found a good one, I ended up with enough money for !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . Maybe there’s nostalgia in this one.

But it’s still a shitty 80s-Pulsar-based FWD economy car. They were never fast, they never got the turbos. And they’ve aged accordingly - they’re all used and abused and broken by now. I don’t even like FWD and I don’t know what I’d do with one of these if I owned it.

But own it I would. It’s on the list. The short list. The cars I actually plan on owning if I ever get the flexibility. I can’t explain it, I just think it’s cool, and it isn’t.

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I don’t even know what these are. I don’t know what kind of engine or drive type. I’m assuming it’s a RR? Who cares. It’s a Lancia. That ain’t me. We don’t have many in Aus, so I’ve none of the affinity for them I see on Top Gear. It just seems like an especially poorly built European car - the sort of thing I use as an excuse for owning Japanese cars.

But. But that roof! It’s not even quite a targa. It’s a glorified soft sunroof thing and I bet it leaks like a sieve. It’s like one of those Esprits, which I like. But I don’t like this. Except I’d totally own it. Every time that one guy posts his one I get weak. I don’t understand.

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This is where I try to explain myself and disgust you all. I suspect I know what’s causing all this behavior. It’s this man’s fault:

I don’t want to be him, it’s not like that. And the show was cancelled shortly before I was born, it’s not a nostalgia thing.

Magnum PI showed a targa top in the right light. The ideal situation. It was a convertible in an ideal world.

It wasn’t about fumbling with an awkward roof panel and clasps. The roof is almost always off, indeed he takes it off in the pilot episode (and the intro sequence for every episode after season 1) and just throws it on the ground. It wasn’t about worrying about leaks in the rain. It wasn’t about rain at all. And it certainly wasn’t about a bulky folding roof and brittle mechanisms resulting in a car that’s desperately trying to hide its hideousness and weight and hoping you won’t notice.

Pathetic

In Magnum, the fiddly stuff happened off-screen. And the car was beautiful, completely uncompromised for being a convertible.

The show sold us the idea that a convertible could have no down-sides. And I lapped it up. And I’ll never be the same.

Next week I move to a house with no garage and we’re coming into Winter. My MR2 is sitting right now in my garage with the roof off, that will no longer be an option, I’ll have to put the roof on whenever I park it. I’m going to be doing a lot less top-down driving, pray for me.

JeepJeremy > Nauraushaun 05/06/2018 at 22:33

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Welcome to Oppositelock?! Where irrational automotive fetishes are welcome and encouraged!

I happen to think Targas are rad. Although I would take T-Tops over a Targa roof. No real reason. Just preference.

My dad had an 80 Corvette and when the t-tops were taken out it meant BUSINESS. And that business was drive fast and take chances!

Nowadays....if I were a zillionaire I’d absolutely buy a brand new Porsche 911 with the powered Targa top. Why? WHY THE FUCK NOT!!!!!! REASONS!!!

Let your freak flag fly!

Nauraushaun > JeepJeremy 05/06/2018 at 22:46

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<3333

I’m not sure what I’d prefer. I like the t-top for perceived rigidity, but there are plenty of non-t-bar cars that are plenty rigid. The cars I’m into tend to be t-bars so that’s what I’ve always had.

Haha nice! As I said mine is a very different world. I want them off all the time. I’d rather rug up with the heater on than put the roof back in.

The targa top is cool but...all those complicated electronics...it is the 911 I’d buy.

I do love the current trend of supercars having a carbon tub such that they may as well have a removable roof because it’s not structural anyway. Thanks for that one Koenigsegg :) Of course, it’s unlikely I’ll ever be able to afford such a car. Thank god for old sports cars.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Nauraushaun 05/06/2018 at 23:02

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Yesterday I saw a 4 headlight, t-top foxbody with Lauver’s and everything. That is my dream Mustang.

Nauraushaun > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 05/06/2018 at 23:22

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I didn’t know the Mustang came with t-tops ever!

The fox body is a car nobody in Australia has ever heard of. It’s wrapped up in a brand of American culture that never made it this way

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Nauraushaun 05/06/2018 at 23:37

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Theres was acouple years in were auto manufactures thought the US government was going to outlaw convertibles. Which is why so many late 70s early 80s cars had t-tops. I think with the 85 redesign the Mustang got a convertible but 79-84 had the option of t-tops.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Nauraushaun 05/06/2018 at 23:42

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Actually 88 was the last year for the Fox, and the Mustang II also had t-tops

pip bip - choose Corrour > Nauraushaun 05/07/2018 at 04:03

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where are you moving to?

Nauraushaun > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 05/07/2018 at 06:54

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Haha what a weird time

Nauraushaun > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 05/07/2018 at 06:54

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I have read about that. I believe that was pretty much the whole motivation for them, after some convertibles were discontinued and some dealers/hacks started fabricating their own t-tops.

Nauraushaun > pip bip - choose Corrour 05/07/2018 at 06:56

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Not far. From Hawthorn East to Kew. Right near Xavier College. Much happier where I am, but my place sold.

Nauraushaun > pip bip - choose Corrour 05/07/2018 at 06:56

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Not far. From Hawthorn East to Kew. Right near Xavier College. Much happier where I am, but my place sold.

Mercedes Streeter > Nauraushaun 05/07/2018 at 15:07

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Friendly counterpoints:

Smart was a stupid brand with a stupid name that never achieved any of its goals.

- From its inception (and it still does exist), smart’s intention was to build the ultimate city car that could fit into literally any space. They achieved their initial goal, but then lost their way as they attempted to slowly become a full line manufacturer.

In 2006, MB cleaned house and made them stick to their original intentions.

Impractical - the rear engine placement means shockingly small storage in both front and rear of the car.

- In the coupe (hatch) trim you have pictured, both boots combined aren’t any worse than any other two seater of comparable size. The standard roadster realistically only has the front boot, but that’s not much worse than a fortwo.

Inaccuracies:

Who cares that the plastic top turns to shit within a couple of years ? If I buy a new top, hang it in my garage and never let it see sun maybe it’ll be fine. 

- The roadster does not nor has it ever had a plastic roof. It has a fabric roof that slides behind the seats using a motor, then you pop off the side rails and store them in back. The roadster coupes do have a hatch, but those are glass. The crazing issue is limited only to the fortwo and forfour models. In fact, the Google Search you linked shows fortwo roofs crazing.

Here’s what the roadster’s roof looks like as the motor sucks it back under the seats. The two black bars will then pop off.

The roadster’s roof issue is with water leaks, not with crazing. Which...honestly I’d say crazing is better than water leaks. :/

Mercedes Streeter > Mercedes Streeter 05/07/2018 at 16:15

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Correction on my part: The roadster *did* have a hard top option, albeit it wasn’t the panoramic roof, so crazing still shouldn’t be a concern.

S65 > Nauraushaun 05/07/2018 at 20:53

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No Corvette?

Nauraushaun > S65 05/07/2018 at 23:35

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This is a complicated question.

We don’t have Corvettes in Australia. Which means we don’t have any of the stigma about who owns them (ie. old men right?). Which means I’m not ashamed to like them.

And like them I do. I think it’s very cool that they’re all available with a targa, even in 2018!

Nauraushaun > Mercedes Streeter 05/07/2018 at 23:37

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Haha, sorry Miss Mercedes. I didn’t mean to get critical on you. Good points all.

Oh I was sure that was roadster crazing. I knew they had a hardtop of some kind.

Do you get the ForFour in America?

Mercedes Streeter > Nauraushaun 05/08/2018 at 00:22

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Haha it’s okay! The funny thing is that I’m only learning about the roadster through my adventures with my 450s. They’re strikingly similar cars...and that’s both good and bad. Water leaks are the roady’s worst enemy. The earlier fortwos had to deal with that too, but not to as crazy as a level.

The US does not get either generation of the forfour, we only get the fortwos. We were supposed to get the formore SUV...however smart was liquidated before that materialized.

To think, smart tried to build a mini Wrangler (the crosstown) with a hybrid drive before Jeep (back then a sister company through DaimlerChrysler) complained about its design infringing on Jeep’s designs. Then smart tried to build a crossover/SUV thing to conquer the US market. It’s weird how far they had tried to go outside of the “ultimate city car” concept. lol

Nauraushaun > Mercedes Streeter 05/08/2018 at 03:28

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It’s so weird though. Merc, known for making the world’s best cars for a very, very long time should know enough to get this right. It’s such a fundamental element of buliding a car.

I’ve seen ForFours on our roads. They’re very strange.

Mercedes Streeter > Nauraushaun 05/08/2018 at 09:09

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I’m not really surprised. The DaimlerChrysler merger led to a decline in quality for all brands impacted. Daimler was raking Chrysler’s cash while allowing all products to go to crap.

Seriously, basically every Mercedes-Benz from that era in my area has an insane amount of rust and/or silly mechanical issues. Early smart 450 engines were also prone to needing engine rebuilds after only 50-70k miles. The 450s also only have a wax layer under the paint for rust protection. A good rock chip will penetrate that and viola, fancy rust!

Ever see a fairly recent MB Sprinter with rust on it? That’s because the latest Sprinter was originally engineered under DaimlerChrysler and the poor rust protection still hasn’t been rectified.

The smart roadster was another victim of DaimlerChrysler. They rushed it from concept to production so fast that it’s no wonder it was a warranty disaster and people ran away from them. The engine is basically an uprated and unrestricted fortwo engine, meaning rebuilds are also a reality for them, too!

Nauraushaun > Mercedes Streeter 05/08/2018 at 23:38

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:( :(